Micro-community Building

I just had an AHA moment…

It’s 12:30am, I had finished watching my recording of today’s Oprah Show, and I was discuss the future of women including myself, with my grown-up, very wise (takes after me!) daughter Ashleigh.

The topic on the show was how empowering women is at the heart of turning war-ravaged countries into peaceful havens, changing calamitous economies into prosperous ones, and convincing intolerant minds to blossom into forward thinking peace-keepers. When women are educated and given the opportunity to improve themselves, their natural instinct is to invest their good fortune in their families and communities.

Hilary Clinton was interviewed for the show on the topic of micro-financing—a movement that has received attention and support from all corners of the earth. In a nutshell, organizations offer small loans, sometimes as little as $50 or $100 to women who use the money to buy a goat or supplies for their beading business. These micro-investments are paid-in-full in very short order and the businesswomen who have received a leg up grow businesses that employ others (men and women) in the village, thus improving their villages as well.

Of course, this thinking—empowering women to see their role in the world peace process—sounded quite familiar to me. We have been preaching and teaching this for years in our event planning classes. If you can plan a birthday party, you can create world peace. Think about it, if you can keep the tolerance quotient up, have the kids get along, and send everyone home happy—then apply that same approach to every event—Brownie meetings, family gatherings, Thanksgiving dinner, a wedding—and if each event could build on the foundation of tolerance learned at the one before, you could teach harmonious relationships. You could create WORLD PEACE.

World Peace is a Cupcake Away

If you can plan a birthday party where kids bring a present and take home a new friendship, world peace is a cupcake away.

If you can plan a Thanksgiving Dinner where guests pass the gravy and leave the judgment, world peace is a drumstick away.

If you can plan a wedding where families are dressed in diplomacy and decorum, world peace is a bouquet-toss away.

If you can plan a business conference where companies boost the bottom line and build a stronger team, world peace is a briefcase away.

If you can plan a G8 Summit where nations connect and cultures are understood, world peace is a handshake away.

When you plan a great event; World Peace is a cupcake away.

Now, don’t panic. World peace is a lofty goal, perhaps even overwhelming. So here’s my theory…we women, ALL OF US, need to be micro-community builders. That’s how we can make a difference. We need to make the effort to teach our children to gather their friends, treat them with compassion and respect, enjoy them without judgment, and pay that attitude forward.

Of course, you are welcomed to go bigger, but the point is, you can start small, at the kitchen table, in the classroom, at a birthday party. While you’re at it, consider becoming a donor and letter-writer to one woman in the Sudan or Afghanistan through www.womenforwomen.org. For $27 a month you can sponsor a woman who you also write the occasional letter. Share your thoughts, learn what motivates her…you won’t be disappointed at the outcome.

Enough for now…I’m going to share a cupcake with my daughter…(and maybe a teeny little lesson).

How Do They Do It?

We have been enjoying the company of a school friend of my eldest daughter, Ashleigh. Rachel is spending some time with each of her college friends while she waits for her very new husband to finish Officers' Training. While they have been separated, she came up with an interesting concept for a workshop to discover the origins of inspiration and motivation.

Here's the question Rachel poses to her workshop participants, "How do you do it? How do you get out of bed every day? What motivates you to open sleep-filled eyes, pull back the warm covers, and face the day?" Hmmmmmm......can I think about that when I'm awake?

Actually, it has gotten me to thinking. What motivates me to get up? What do I look forward to each morning? Some mornings it is the anticipation of a simple cup of coffee and a chocolate muffin heated up for me at my favorite coffee shop The Purple Onion in Los Gatos. Lately, I have been motivated by a new project I have been workingon with Joni--the Leader2Leader Pilot Program which we are working on for our local high school.

But Rachel's question also begs reflection on how we are inspired by others. Who do you look at and ask yourself, "How does she do it?"

• How does a new bride find the courage to get married right out of college, move to a new state, wave her husband good-bye for 2+ months, and still managecreate a workshop out of thin-air and then launch herself on a national tour to try it out?


• How does a college freshman filled with self-doubt challenge herself to take on a new environment, new roommates, and new systems with such determination and honesty?


• How does an only child sandwiched between generations manage an elderly dad and new grandbabies and stay reasonably sane?


• How does a college graduate turn herself into a juggler, performer, and perhaps even a rock star while entertaining us with mimicry and British accents?
  

I am inspired by some pretty amazing women who do their inspiring acts in quiet, unassuming ways. So, since this all too infrequently blogged blogspot is about life's celebrations, I raise a glass to celebrate these lovely ladies--my inspirations..

...and I continue to get up every morning, anticipating the day...

A Party State of Mind: Using the Power of the Party to Create World Peace

Each year, fifty million American moms plan some three hundred million birthday parties. That’s more than 820,000 parties a day. What if you could use these parties to build something bigger? You can. Whether you’re a CityMommy, a hockey mom, a soccer mom, a ballet mom, a violin mom, a theater mom, a stay-at-home mom, a working mom, an older mom, a younger mom, a single mom, a gay mom, or a mom-to-be, you have a power tool available that can change the world.

The everyday event: a power tool for making peace in the new millennium.

How, you say?

Believe it or not, the connections forged at the simplest of celebrations have the power to pave the way for something bigger. Think about it. If you can plan a birthday party that brings the soccer team and the kindergarten class together and shows them how to have fun and make friends, maybe you could use the same principles to plan, say, a wedding. If you can plan a wedding that brings two families together, with all the diplomacy, psychology, and social science that this kind of event takes, what else could you plan? The G8 Conference? A World Peace Summit meeting? You could plan one event after another, each one leveraging the power of past successes and leading to greater understanding of ourselves, our neighbors, and our communities.

If you can plan a birthday party, world peace is just a cupcake away.

Now, don’t go into overwhelm. This isn’t complicated. It’s philosophy—party philosophy: We believe that a party should be as much fun to plan as it is to attend. Having a positive party philosophy sets the intention for a successful celebration. Stressed out party planners lead to stressed out parties. Not fun to plan equals not fun to attend.

Most of us approach the planning of a party by tackling the details first. Infuse some fun into the planning stage and see what happens when party day finally arrives.

Get in a Party State of Mind with Our Party Prep Three Step:

1. Plan for fun with your kid- Do something with your kid to get the party juices
flowing before the event (This doesn’t mean dragging them shopping!).
Create a pre-party buzz by letting your four year old birthday child taste
test three flavors of ice cream at dinner about a week before the party and pick
the flavor to be served on the big day. Or have a trial run of the party
game with just the family.

2. Plan for fun with your family- Create a birthday party tradition like serving hot fudge pancakes for breakfast or eating desert first at dinner to celebrate each family members’ birthday.

3. Plan for fun with the guests-Have a welcome station: Set up a spot near the entrance of the party location for your birthday girl or boy to greet each guest at the door with a sparkle tattoo, action hero sticker, or party hat, and take presents as the guests arrive.
Serve kid-friendly food: Kids are not food critics and are not impressed with complex menus. Try serving a make-your-own party kabob with chopped hot dogs, cheese cubes, and pickles. You can even have a trial run of the menu for dinner a week before the party.
Choose an activity that fosters friendship: Think about who’s coming, what they like, and what they can do easily and successfully when you are choosing an activity. Avoid overly-competitive games where there is a definitive winner and many “losers.” Try a teddy bear parade for the pre-school set or a pizza-making party for the school-aged crowd.
Say thank you often and out loud: Prepare the birthday child to thank each guest for their present and more importantly, for their presence. Practice mini-scripts for situations like identical gifts (hint: It’s not OK to say, “Too bad I already have this!”).

Getting into a party state of mind is critical to the success of a party—even a kids’ party. Experts recommend that you don’t grocery shop hungry—it leads to bad food choices and excess spending; we recommend that you don’t plan parties stressed—which creates the same results. This change in thinking takes a little practice, but that’s what the everyday events are for. Most people can’t play the piano just by hearing it played; it requires learning a new skill and daily practice. It’s the same with thinking in a party state of mind; if you practice it on the little occasions you will get a standing ovation for the once-in-a-lifetime events.

In this age of cell phones, emails, Blackberries, and instant messaging, we are more disconnected than ever. The solution to great connections isn’t another electronic device. Whether it’s a birthday party, a wedding, or a summit meeting, what we know is that all events share the same higher goal: To connect us to each other. So the next time you plan a birthday party, let world peace be your theme.

Everyday Event Planner does TV

See pictures of our first TV interview with Darlene Carmen of The Painting Gourmet, this past summer. We were a little nervous, very sweaty, but we had a blast. Go to www.everydayeventplanner.shutterfly.com to see what happened.

One Year Later...

It's been a year since we last posted to our blog...now, it's not a lack of work that has caused this situation, we've been writing, designing, drinking coffee, and whining. Our website is nearly ready for prime-time, and our invitations are definitely ready for sale! This blog will now devote itself to helping our readers rescue their events from the angst and anguish that frequently plagues frenzied party planners. We will help you find harmony, happiness, and a great hostess outfit while planning the perfect party! If you have any questions about what to do for your next party, write to us here. Stay tuned...

Birth of a Website

Our website has a logo! It's not fully operational at the moment; however, we have hired a web expert who speaks in bytes and acronyms that we don't understand, but which the computer seems to comprehend completely. Our official launch date is 02.01.08. The website will have all the party themes featured in the Everything Baby Shower Book, links to resources for party planning, ideas, suggestions and tips for everyday events, and products based on the ideas.

As always, we are anxious to hear about everyone's party experiences--don't hesitate to post yours, we check everyday!

Baby Showers in the Workplace

Miss Manners recently commented on the appropriateness of baby showers and other personal celebrations in the workplace. The comments were in response to a male reader who wanted permission to opt out of showers in the office. The advise from our esteemed collegue was that personal celebrations had no place in the work environment and should be held outside the office.

Au contraire!

With the average workday lasting nine to ten hours (yes, we can hear those of you reading this at your desk at 10pm laughing!), it is not reasonable to expect that the people with whom you spend 50 or more hours each week don't want to celebrate in some way a milestone occasion such as a new baby or impending nuptials.

That said, it is also unreasonable to expect that everyone in the office wants to contribute to gifts and hoopla with an office party everyday or even every week. The other issue is that while it currently takes both genders to create a baby or get married, showers usually focus attention on women and what they enjoy.

Here's the universal truth about baby showers and the like at the office--man or woman, we're all a little tired of them. The concept of sharing the joy is great until you're up against a deadline and your ATM card is worn out.

What's the solution? Don't throw the baby shower out with the bathwater--change your thinking! Here are some practical solutions for taming the party beast without throwing away the good intentions.

1. Plan one monthly gathering that covers all the celebrations (showers, birthdays, promotions, etc) that month. Fifteen minutes a month is not too much for anybody.
2. Be equal-opprotunity celebrators. Men become grooms and dads at the same rate as women become brides and mothers. Include their occasions in the monthly mix.
3. Limit celebrations to the length of a coffee break. This also limits the need for lengthly planning time, expansive menus, or complicated clean-up.
4. Put the brakes on gifts. Workplace celebrations should be more about acknowledging the celebrant than gifting. Write a thoughtful note, bring in a single flower, even a cute email or e-card can produce a smile.
5. Change-up the menu. If cake or muffins are too messy or too been-there-done-that, try bringing in a bottle of Torrani syrup, flavored coffee cream and cinnamon sticks to spice-up the morning break.
6. Remember the Purpose. Your mother always told you, "It's the thought that counts." She wasn't wrong.

If you plan workplace celebrations with the right intentions, they can be unifying, not annoying.