Baby Showers in the Workplace

Miss Manners recently commented on the appropriateness of baby showers and other personal celebrations in the workplace. The comments were in response to a male reader who wanted permission to opt out of showers in the office. The advise from our esteemed collegue was that personal celebrations had no place in the work environment and should be held outside the office.

Au contraire!

With the average workday lasting nine to ten hours (yes, we can hear those of you reading this at your desk at 10pm laughing!), it is not reasonable to expect that the people with whom you spend 50 or more hours each week don't want to celebrate in some way a milestone occasion such as a new baby or impending nuptials.

That said, it is also unreasonable to expect that everyone in the office wants to contribute to gifts and hoopla with an office party everyday or even every week. The other issue is that while it currently takes both genders to create a baby or get married, showers usually focus attention on women and what they enjoy.

Here's the universal truth about baby showers and the like at the office--man or woman, we're all a little tired of them. The concept of sharing the joy is great until you're up against a deadline and your ATM card is worn out.

What's the solution? Don't throw the baby shower out with the bathwater--change your thinking! Here are some practical solutions for taming the party beast without throwing away the good intentions.

1. Plan one monthly gathering that covers all the celebrations (showers, birthdays, promotions, etc) that month. Fifteen minutes a month is not too much for anybody.
2. Be equal-opprotunity celebrators. Men become grooms and dads at the same rate as women become brides and mothers. Include their occasions in the monthly mix.
3. Limit celebrations to the length of a coffee break. This also limits the need for lengthly planning time, expansive menus, or complicated clean-up.
4. Put the brakes on gifts. Workplace celebrations should be more about acknowledging the celebrant than gifting. Write a thoughtful note, bring in a single flower, even a cute email or e-card can produce a smile.
5. Change-up the menu. If cake or muffins are too messy or too been-there-done-that, try bringing in a bottle of Torrani syrup, flavored coffee cream and cinnamon sticks to spice-up the morning break.
6. Remember the Purpose. Your mother always told you, "It's the thought that counts." She wasn't wrong.

If you plan workplace celebrations with the right intentions, they can be unifying, not annoying.